Welcome to the 2003 Toddler Topics, a learn-at-home newsletter series for parents of young children. Toddler Topics is created by Penn State Cooperative Extension Family Living Agents.

Think back on your own childhood. What traditions do you remember? As a parent of a young child, this is a great time to think about the traditions you would like to continue, and to consider some new ones you would like to adopt for your family.

Sincerely,

Lynn B. Clint
Extension Agent - Family and Consumer Sciences

For more information, contact us at:
Penn State Cooperative Extension in Erie County
850 East Gore Road, Erie, PA 16509-3798
Phone: (814) 825-0900; Fax: (814) 825-4783

TRADITIONS BUILD
STRONG FAMILIES
Cheryl Miller, Perry County

Researchers have studied families to determine why some thrive while others struggle. During their scrutiny they discovered families who practice a number of meaningful traditions weather the storms of adversity better than those that have few family traditions. Family traditions have special meaning to the family and are acted out repeatedly over time. They help to establish and preserve the family's identity.

Traditions that help to hold the family together are not elaborate events but simple daily happenings. Parents with young children practice a number of these daily traditions. Examples:

• The little song that you sing in the morning to wake the child, and the child eating breakfast from the same bowl each morning is a tradition.
  
  
• The game that parents play to teach a toddler to pick up his toys when he is finished playing is a tradition that helps a child learn responsibility.
  
  
• A story at bedtime is an important part of the evening routine (tradition) to which a young child looks forward.
  
  
• The evening meal is an important family tradition overlooked in these days of busy schedules. It is an opportunity for the family to reconnect after a day away from each other.

Family traditions help us to define who we are; they provide something steady, reliable and safe in a confusing world.

How to Manage Your Child's Behavior 101
Devina Johnson
Indiana County

Being a parent does not come with a "how to" manual or a training workshop
that allows you to become a certified parent. The skills you learn as a parent come from watching other parents or by trial and error. For the most part all will go well but once in a while you may find yourself challenged by the job of parenting. Welcome to "Managing Your Child's Behavior 101."

The first question you have to ask yourself: Is this behavior normal or age-appropriate for the child? If you answered yes, then with guidance, patience and consistency…this too shall pass. If you answered no, then read on. A behavior is considered challenging if it interferes with a child's learning, development and success at play; if it is harmful to the child other children; or adults, or if the behavior puts a child at risk for later social problems of school failure.

It is easier to prevent challenging behavior than it is to manage it. Usually by the time you have to manage challenging behavior, a situation occurred that made you realize that this is not normal behavior. To prevent challenging behavior, follow these steps: stop and think before you react…change your approach (but be consistent) …expect good behavior…set good rules…teach acceptable behavior…work with others who have contact with the child…if you can prevent where and when the behavior will take place, prevent those situations from occurring.

If, as a parent, you find that somehow you've skipped prevention and went straight to behavioral management, don't panic! It is not too late. Here are some tips on effective ways to discipline your child at this stage: behavior management (help the child to be responsible for his/her actions by talking with the child-calmly)… redirection (if a child is doing something undesirable, stop them, explain to them why you are stopping them and suggest another activity)…ignore (try to ignore the misbehavior as much as possible, give attention for good behavior)…be firm and clear (without yelling or threatening)…stay in control (act before the situation gets out of control)…be detached (if your child does something that you disapprove of, pretend that your child is the neighbor's child and ask yourself, "What would I do?"

If you find that it is still difficult to manage your child's behavior after trying some of these suggestions, try seeking outside assistance. Don't know where to start? You can also consult with other community resources, such as the child's physician or other professionals who are trained to work with challenging behaviors in children. Don't hesitate to ask for help - remember you are doing this for your child.

TEMPERAMENT TRAITS
. . . NOW WHAT?
(Last in a Six-Part Series)
Denise Continenza
Lehigh County

The last trait we will look at in this column is a child's sensory threshold. Do you have a child who is aware of even the slightest change in the environment? These children have a very low sensory threshold, meaning that they are extremely aware of their surroundings. Clothing tags at the nape of the neck may drive them crazy. One child I know maintained that his "socks were hard" and refused to wear certain kinds. On close examination the mother found out that there was a thick green stitch across the toes of a particular brand. Her son was highly perceptive of the sensation on his toes and refused to wear them.

So, what is a parent to do with a child that reacts strongly to sensory input? The best strategy is to anticipate. Try to avoid over-stimulation if at all possible. Some things and places are not avoidable such as a large gathering or a day with

intense humidity. Know that these situations will be difficult for the child, and know also that there is often little you can do to change it. Anticipating the reaction will help you to plan better and reduce the conflict.

With this trait as well as with all the temperament traits discussed in this column, knowing your child's unique qualities is the first step toward a "goodness of fit." Adjusting your own approaches and responses to the child is what makes the relationship move in harmony. Enjoy the dance!

………….................................…………FAMILY FUN………................................………………

Fun with Science
Mary Ann K. Oyler, Franklin County

Let's Talk: Science is all around us so why not take advantage of these wonderful learning opportunities. Toddlers
delight in the wonder of science.

Rainbows: Fill a large glass container with water, such as a fish bowl. Place a small mirror in the bottom of the bowl and place it in a sunny location. Observe the bowl throughout the day, and look for the rainbow! Source: Building Blocks, April 1999.

Count the Bugs: Put plastic bugs (ladybugs, ants, butterflies, etc.) in a plastic jar. Have your child guess how many are in the jar. Count them together, and talk about the different insects. Change the number, and count them again.

Pine Cone Garden: Nestle a pinecone in a piece of floral oasis. Place it in a saucer of water, plant grass seeds or small flower seeds between the sections of pinecone. Keep the saucer filled with water, and watch the garden grow.
Source: Building Blocks, May 1995.

Older Adults and
Young Children
Together
Matt Kaplan, Ph.D. Intergenerational Programs
& Aging Specialist
Penn State University

In our society, young children do not always have enough access to the wealth of life experiences and compassion that older adults have to share. Families are increasingly living further apart, and this means that children are more likely to be distanced from older generations in their own extended families. However,

there is a counter-trend that bodes well for promoting older adult involvement in young children's lives. Early childhood educators around the country are developing programs in which older adults engage young children in a full range of activities.

Research has found that intergenerational programs have a positive impact on the behavior of children, and help provide older adults with a sense of purpose and community involvement. Young children and older adults have much in common and tend

to enjoy each other's company. Both generations enjoy drawing, singing, eating and joking around. So why not bring them together so they can share the many joys of life?

Does your child have contact with older adults? If not, consider looking into your community for ways that he or she can benefit from their special companionship.

Make Snacks Count
Denise Talko, MS, RD, Bucks County

Kids may not eat enough at each meal, and can use snacks to get up to one-fourth of the food they eat each day. This helps them get all of their calories and nutrients. For that reason, snacking should not be discouraged.

You just need to offer the right kinds of snacks. Offer foods from each of the food groups. Try combining food groups to offer a variety of tastes, textures, scents and colors. Snacks can be fun to make and fun to eat.

This publication is available in alternative media on request.

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